So when I was a kid, probably 12 or 13, I checked out a compilation of post-apocalyptic science fiction stories from the public library. It looked like every other book on the shelf. It was fic from a dozen different authors, and the blurb on the inside cover was pretty vague.
Of the stories in that book, 2 were R-rated. One had surprise rape. One had surprise inter-generational incest. For the shock value. To make the reader ~think. Dude authors. Do I wish I hadn’t read it? Yah. Kinda. It lives in the back of my head with the other gross detritus of the world, all the horrible upsetting shit I’ve read. I read a Star Trek licensed novel with animal torture in it, to illustrate the horror of sociopathy, and I wish I hadn’t read that too.
During the summers of middle school and high school I read voraciously and while I managed to steer clear of MUCH upsetting content I sure as hell stumbled on some doozies.
If my library had been Ao3 I would have gotten a pop up asking me — hey, kid, there’s gross shit in that book, are you old enough to check it out?
And if I was a dumb kid I still might have said ‘yes’, but I would have had a heads up.
Quick personal statistics!
Surprise incest I’ve read in paperbacks I bought in a store or checked out from the library: I’m going to say…. half a dozen instances? Dozen? Surprise rape, at least double that. What is it about the fantasy genre that brings out the creepy writers, and why do they consider sexual assault ‘gritty realism,’ could they fucking stop.
Surprise incest I’ve read on Ao3: none. It has warnings and I avoid it like the plague.
Surprise rape I’ve read on Ao3: none. It has warnings and I avoid it like the plague.
Ao3 is one of the safest goddamn places on the web to read fiction because it has a standardized, mandatory labeling system. Is there appalling content on it? Oh god yes. Does it do a better job of warning you about that content than any library or bookstore? Oh my god yes by ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE.
I vote funding for my local library every time it’s on the ballot, even though there’s gross shit on the shelves, because I think it’s a resource that’s important to have.
I donate to Ao3 even though there’s content I find fucking appalling archived there, because I think it’s a resource that’s important to have.
Because I know that defunding libraries won’t stop gross dudes from writing gross shit and calling it ‘thought provoking literature’, and I know shutting down Ao3 won’t make creepy fic vanish from the internet. It’ll just take the warning labels off it.
That’s the point. These are artificial colors, most night vision systems are monochrome, which takes away a lot of detail, specially when you want to use them to read anything, like that road sign.
I just want you guys to know that the woman of the confused lady meme is a Brazilian actress
it’s a scene from a soap opera. her character was called Nazaré Tedesco. This was one of the most iconic roles in all of Brazilian soap operas. So here goes another iconic scene (it’s Nazaré kidnapping a baby) that you guys can use to make memes:
I’m so glad this post is still going around
wtf this entire time i thought she was the tall lady from american horror story
Apparently Catch Me If You Can was going to include this con but they had to cancel the scene because when they tried to film it people kept walking up and trying to give Leo their money.
So a professor of mine used to work at a bank back in the day. She says one day a guy in professional attire and a clipboard shows up in a big moving truck. He says he’s from the home office and they’re changing all the chairs. He’s needs them to just load all their old chairs into his truck and later he’d be back with the replacements.
And that’s how they gave away their office furniture to a conman whose master plan was “Wear a tie and carry a clipboard.”
Looking professional is just a pass to do whatever the hell you want.
Put a suit on and you can get almost anywhere.
there’s more to it, look nice and ACT LIKE YOU BELONG. If you don’t look like you belong there, people will stop you.
this smacks of a chef i heard of that was tired to death that every single person ordered their eggs ‘over easy’, so asked the waitress to say ‘were out of over easy, we have plenty of scrambled’ and nobody questioned it
How low must your self image be to plan to rob a bank and all you take is some second hand chairs?
I 100% believe this was a former employee with a grudge.
Kid you not, this is how a sister store of mine got their entire dog treat bar stolen.
A couple of guys said they were with maintenance and they were there to replace the old bar with a new one and the employees were like “Seems legit” and they wheeled them out. The staff even helped them do it.
This is called a “Bavarian Fire Drill” and the trick to pulling it off is to have absolute confidence that it’s going to work. If you seem even the slightest bit nervous or hesitant, everyone will see right through it.
Case in point:
In 1906, a German con man named Wilhelm Voigt dressed up in a German Army captain’s uniform and entered the town of Köpenick claiming to be an “inspector” (inspector of what, he never specified). He managed to wrangle ten German soldiers and a sergeant into assisting him, ordered the local police to halt all telephone calls to Berlin for an hour, arrested the mayor and treasurer for nonexistent charges of crooked bookkeeping, and confiscated the town’s entire treasury complete with a receipt which he signed with his former jail director’s name. He only got caught (two weeks later) because his former cellmate blabbed, and was later pardoned by Kaiser Wilhelm II who found the whole thing hilarious.
That Kaiser is a definite bro.
This is why slytherins like to be fancy and professional looking
When you’re a trickster, it pays to be … low key.
I was hired to help test a security system once. I was sent in to a semi-large company and had to go through a list of certain objectives. My favorite one was “take something out of the building that is too big to hide on your body.“ I paired it with “get into a secured facility within the building.”
I walked in in my general business getup. Shirt, tie, jacket, nice pants, not quite “suit” because it was all just a little bit shabby and not exactly matching but not clashing. Nice briefcase. Clipboard.
Getting into the secured part was easy. Learned the name of the supervisor, told the security guard that “Cindy said they’d let me in without a problem on my first day. Something about the badges not being made fast enough.” Sure, no problem, go ahead.
Walked in, unhooked a PC tower, walked to the bathroom where I’d hidden a dolly earlier, went into a stall and changed into the outfit I’d had in the briefcase. It was what I’d consider workman’s clothes but a worker in an office, not like a construction worker.
Blue jeans, t-shirt, worker’s vest (low key), hat, good boots but 2nd hand.
Threw the tower on the mover’s dolly with a couple other things, stacked very slightly precariously but not likely to fall, walked over to the stairs leading down, and started going down to the way out, which I knew had a security guard on it.
As soon as I saw him see me I stumbled and yelled out. He came running over and helped stabilize everything. Helped me down the stairs. Held the door open for me and told me to “have a nice day” as I left. Never asked for my badge or even where I was going with the stuff.
Act like you know what you’re doing. Look like you belong. Be confident.
That’s 75% of it right there.
That is some Moist Von Lipwig bullshit right there and I am fucking delighted.
Oooh, a post I can add personal story to!
Or how I got into secure facility in government building without intending to.
So, I was changing my last name, and it involved A LOT of paperwork. And I had to meet this official from civil records to get another form to fill or smth. It was years ago, so do not remember.
I called her, set appointment time, and arrived to this place. She told me to tell guard that she expects me, and the guard will call her to come down.
That day I also had another meeting I had to look formal for, so I arrived wearing a nice suit, styled hair, business-casual make-up, heels and holding document folder. Also I did not have much time, so there was certain determination in my steps to get all this stuff done today.
So I arrive, and walk straight up to the guard and tell, I have an appointment with such and such and she expects me. And guard tells me, sure, go upstairs, she’s in her office. I’m a bit surprised, but shrug it off, because who knows, maybe she’s too busy to come down or something.
I go in, find the office I need (asking couple of people on the way for help, because it was a big building). And when I finally find this lady, she’s SHOCKED. Because only authorized staff can come upstairs, and there’s a special room for general public on the first floor, where I was supposed to wait for her to come down. I was unaware of all that, so I’m shocked and a bit scared.
So she gets mad (not at me, but at guard), and I had to witness him getting formal scolding for breaking security protocols. And apparently he though I was another official, because I looked so professional, and that’s why he did not even bother to ask for my ID.
So yeah, looking like you belong will get you pretty much anywhere, even if you do not need to!
The-Lounge 