Seeing John Mulaney do his ‘Robot Test’ bit has given me a strong desire to see him play a live action Riddler.
But not like, as any character other than John Mulaney? Like, let’s make a John Mulaney version of Edward Nigma. Just this socially awkward disaster man who somehow becomes a supervillain because of a misunderstanding he couldn’t correct without ‘seeming rude’. And now supposedly he’s committed to killing Batman but he doesn’t actually want to be the cause of a man’s death so he just obfuscates things with ‘clues’ and ‘riddles’ and ‘battles of wits’ until Batman inevitably defeats him and he’s just like ‘oh thank god please don’t hit me’.
Batman’s like ‘you need help Nigma’ and he’s just like ‘yeah that’s fair, I should probably look into seeing somebody at this point, I became a supervillain because of social anxiety and that might just be a red flag you know?’
“Hey, Batman, think you’ve seen everything, huh? Well, figure out how to deal with this! You know Gotham General Hospital? Yeah? Well you’ll never guess what I let loose in there!”
“Riddle me this, what has four hooves and presents a massive health and safety violation?”
“I see you there, Batman. And I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.”
I don’t even live in Texas but honestly we need politicians like Beto
What’s so great about Beto?
Doesn’t take any PAC money or big donor money period. Left or right. Won’t be beholden to big money interests.
Already pledged to support Bernie’s Medicare for All bill should he win
Legalization of Marijuana, expunging records of nonviolent drug offenders.
He wouldn’t have voted for Kavanaugh, and he would have voted for the Violence Against Women reauthorization.
Expanding of LGBTQ rights.
Public works projects like extending broadband access to rural areas and funding for the rail project between Dallas-SA-Austin-Houston.
Bringing back and protecting the voting rights act.
Increasing money for the VA.
Finding healthy solutions to immigration and the boarder, just like his home town El Paso a boarder town that’s one of the safest cities in the country
Prison reform, ending for profit prisons.
If people under age 35 show up to the polls, Beto can win. There are enough young voters to get rid of Ted Cruz, who is a truly terrible person.
i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me bc not only can she find 20 four leaf clovers within the span of like 2 minutes, everywhere, she can also write her name w/ both hands on a dry erase board or w/e at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another
to add to this: i was making breakfast this morning and i hear “hey milo! look who came to say hello!” and, expecting like, a moth or a frog or something of that nature, i turn and she’s holding a snake
also, hot tip for the media: 90% of “trans activists” are just regular trans people who got fed up with the constant abuse, and do not represent some kind of balanced force against transphobic bigots; they’re just people who want to live their lives in peace.
The Dutch resistance was widely believed to be a man’s effort in a man’s war. If women were involved, the thinking went, they were likely doing little more than handing out anti-German pamphlets or newspapers.
Yet Freddie Oversteegen and her sister Truus, two years her senior, were rare exceptions — a pair of teenage women who took up arms against Nazi occupiers and Dutch “traitors” on the outskirts of Amsterdam. With Hannie Schaft, a onetime law student with fiery red hair, they sabotaged bridges and rail lines with dynamite, shot Nazis while riding their bikes, and donned disguises to smuggle Jewish children across the country and sometimes out of concentration camps.
In perhaps their most daring act, they seduced their targets in taverns or bars, asked if they wanted to “go for a stroll” in the forest — and “liquidated” them, as Ms. Oversteegen put it, with a pull of the trigger.
“We had to do it,” she told one interviewer. “It was a necessary evil, killing those who betrayed the good people.” When asked how many people she had killed or helped kill, she demurred: “One should not ask a soldier any of that.” […]
The problem with the manic pixie dreamgirl trend in media is that it trains men to assume every girl they pass with a pretty dress, unusual hair, and sparkly eye-liner is some kind of deep and quirky and paradoxical nymph, which is complete erasure of girls like me, who are absolute gremlins.
There’s a certain point in conversations with guys when you can tell that’s what he’s thinking. He fell for the sparkly nails and the off-the-shoulder top and he’s expecting you to tell him how your dream is to bike across France with just the clothes on your back. How you like art museums because they feel like the beautiful preservation of long-dead artists’ souls. How you believe humans evolved sight in order to appreciate the infinitely unreachable cascade of stars above.
And at that point you’ve already lost. There’s no graceful way to clarify that you’re actually just a gremlin in a sundress, which you got for $14.99 on the clearance rack at Old Navy while trying to buy socks. That you actually don’t know anything about philosophy or whimsy or world-travel you get anxious taking the subway anywhere new. That you actually really have to go because you already have plans for the evening of lying in a blanket-burrito in bed watching a 49 minute Youtube video review of an anime you’ve never heard of.
The manic pixie dreamgirl trope is socially-anxious-dumbass erasure and i wont stand for it
I’m just a gremlin who found some contouring videos and a good phone filter.
steve rogers: All my money is in a savings account. Tony has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.
tony stark: I was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. That’s like when Steve would be like, “We’d all go play jacks by the soda fountain,” and you’re like, “Nobody knows what you’re talking about , you idiot.”
clint barton: It’s fun to be married. I’ve never been supervised before. I’m supervised! My wife studies what I do, like an anthropologist. She’ll be like: “Sometimes, he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD. Pointing this out confuses and upsets him.”
bruce banner: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.
natasha romanoff: I’ll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.
thor: Ah…numbers. The letters of math.
sam wilson: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.
bucky barnes: Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s: As long as you weren’t there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
scott lang: it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
peter parker: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
t’challa: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
The-Lounge 