winds-and-stardust:

fandomsandanythingelse:

sympathetic-deceit-trash:

taylormademediocrity:

spacetaters:

ok but can we like start a petition for Cards Against Humanity to make a John Mulaney themed pack because i would be willing to spend all my money on that

Suggestions:

Black cards-

• THERES A ______ LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL

• Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell ________

• Canceling plans is like ________

• Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need _____

• You have the moral backbone of a _______

• I’ll keep all of my ___________ right here and the one day I’ll die

White Cards-

• what’s new pussycat played 7 times followed by its not unusual followed by what’s new pussy cat

• smoking cocaine the night before your college graduation

• a 28 year old healthy man trying his best

• one black coffee

• STREET SMARTS

• shushing animals even though they’ve never spoken

• Delta Airlines

• the one thing they can’t replace

• an on fire garbage can… could be a nursery

• a sea of drunk toddlers

• a pre- y2k asshole

• Xanax

Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need what’s new pussycat played 7 followed by it’s not unusual followed by what’s new pussycat

I’ll keep all of my STREET SMARTS right here and then one day I’ll die

You have the moral backbone of a 28 year old healthy man trying his best